The opportunities that find you depend on what people already trust you to do. Here’s how to shape that reputation deliberately.Excerpt from my paid Substack column, Her Edge.
♦Created in ChatGPTNobody is coming to discover you.
The women who get tapped for the biggest roles, stretch assignments, keynote talks, and career-changing introductions are rarely complete unknowns.
Their names are already in the room.
Someone has seen their work, heard them speak, read what they wrote, or watched them contribute. Over time, those moments teach people what to associate with their names.
That is the opportunity visibility creates.
It is also where things can go wrong.
There is the work you do. And there is the work people think you do.
Those two are rarely the same thing, and the gap between them shapes which opportunities reach you.
For years, the work people were most likely to see me doing happened around women in tech and girls in STEM. That was how Kim Tremblay first encountered me.
In early 2015, I gave a talk to a peer-to-peer group for women in tech about how to network inside your company. I had no idea that Kim Tremblay was in the audience. Kim was the VP of Engineering and co-founder of a cybersecurity company called Arctic Wolf. She heard me speak and walked away knowing who I was.
A few months later, we were both invited to a panel at Think About Math, a STEM workshop for Grade 9 girls at the University of Waterloo. When I saw Kim’s job title, I walked up to her and told her I wanted to do her job someday.
I was a Senior Manager at the time. VP felt like a huge leap. I had also never met a woman who held that title. I took the chance and asked if she would meet me for coffee.
What I didn’t know was that the conversation had begun months earlier. She had already seen me speak. She had already watched me contribute. She already had a sense of how I thought and what I cared about.
So when I took the chance and asked, she said yes.
Weeks later, I accepted an offer to join Arctic Wolf as the Director of R&D. Kim hired me.
People often call moments like that networking. But networking alone does not explain what happened. Kim knew my name before I asked her for anything. By the time the job opportunity appeared, I was no longer a stranger asking to be considered.
My name was already in the room.
That reputation kept opening doors. It also created a category around me that was much narrower than the work I was doing.
Outside my company, people knew me as an advocate for women in tech. Far fewer knew that I had a master’s degree in cryptography, had spent eight years working in mobile security at BlackBerry, held more than twenty security-related patents, or was helping build and scale a cybersecurity company.
The work I made visible shaped my reputation.
The work I kept inside my job remained largely invisible.
Once I saw the gap, I began deliberately widening what people associated with my name. Over the next several years, I created a cybersecurity meetup, spoke about ransomware and engineering leadership, appeared regularly on security podcasts, helped organize a cybersecurity conference, and used the opportunities available through my employer.
In 2022, AWS invited me to speak during its Toronto Summit keynote about how Arctic Wolf ran its security operations at scale.
Four thousand people were in the room.
♦Me on the keynote stage for AWS Summit Toronto 2022.
That stage was the visible result.
The reputation that put me there had been built through years of smaller contributions.
This is how to build that kind of reputation deliberately.
Step 1: Audit What Your Name Already MeansBefore deciding what you want to be known for, you need an honest picture of what people currently believe you know.
Your job title will not tell you.
Your LinkedIn profile will not tell you.
The clearest evidence is found in the opportunities people bring you.
Look at the last ten times someone reached out to you professionally.
What did they ask for?
Perhaps they asked you to:
- mentor a new manager
- review a product strategy
- explain a technical problem
- join an interview panel
- speak about inclusion
- rescue a struggling project
- lead a difficult client conversation
- organize a team event
Those requests reveal your existing reputation.
People reach for the person they already associate with the problem in front of them.
That can be affirming. It can also expose a gap.
For years, the invitations coming my way followed a clear pattern. Radio shows, government meetings, podcasts, panels, interviews, and awards were overwhelmingly connected to women in tech.
That work mattered to me. I was proud to be associated with it.
But the pattern showed me what was missing.
Very few invitations were connected to cybersecurity, cryptography, engineering leadership, or scaling technical organizations.
That absence gave me useful information. The public version of my career did not reflect the full body of work I had built.
Do this audit without judging the results.
You are trying to understand what your visible work has already taught people.
Ask yourself:
- What do people consistently seek my help with?
- What topics am I invited to discuss?
- In what role do people introduce me?
- Which parts of my experience rarely appear?
- What do people inside my company know about me that people outside it do not?
The missing pieces matter.
They show you where your reputation may be limiting the opportunities that find you.
You’ve just read how to do this audit yourself. But seeing your own reputation clearly is harder than it sounds. You’re too close to it.
So I built a Claude skill to help you conduct the audit. It researches your public presence, examines what the world can actually see about you, and identifies the gap between the work you do and the work people think you do.
That gap is where the work starts.
On Substack, paid subscribers get the skill plus the eight steps that will help you close the gap.
By the end, you will know exactly what you want people to trust you with, what evidence you need to put in front of them, where to show up so the right people see it, and how to build all of it under your own name so it stays yours when the job ends.
Her Edge: Your Reputation Is Already Choosing Opportunities for You
♦Her Edge: Your Reputation Is Already Choosing Opportunities for You was originally published in Code Like A Girl on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.