Better allyship starts here. Each week, Karen Catlin shares five simple actions to create a workplace where everyone can thrive.♦1. Challenge sexist rhetoricNew research from Lean In found that many men in the U.S. still hold sexist beliefs about work and leadership, with:
- 47% believing men should be the primary earners for their families.
- 42% believing men are naturally better suited for leadership.
- 34% believing women are too emotional for high-pressure roles.
Sheryl Sandberg’s advice? Don’t let sexist statements go unchallenged.
If someone says, “He should get a larger raise to support his family; after all, she has a husband who is also bringing in a paycheck,” consider asking: “How is that fair?”
If someone says, “Before I’d hire her to lead a business unit, I’d want to make sure she’s already been successful in that kind of role,” point out the double standard. Women can face prove-it-again bias: being expected to demonstrate their capabilities before being considered for opportunities that men may receive based on potential.
And if someone dismisses a woman as “too emotional,” share research published in Harvard Business Review suggesting women may actually be less likely than men to act on emotions when leading.
Make it clear that these assumptions deserve to be questioned, especially when they could influence someone’s pay, opportunities, or career.
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2. Avoid making assumptions about genderTransgender Awareness Week (November 13–19) is an opportunity to increase understanding about transgender people and the issues they face.
To learn about ways to be a better ally for transgender people, I highly recommend this list of tips from GLAAD. Here’s one I want to highlight:
At meetings and events, set an inclusive tone by avoiding making assumptions about people’s gender. Specifically:
“In a group setting, identify people by articles of clothing instead of using gendered language. For example, the ‘person in the blue shirt,’ instead of the ‘woman in the front.’”
I’ll admit this is something I need to get better at, and I’m actively working on.
GLAAD also recommends avoiding gendered forms of address like Sir and Madam. Instead, we can say distinguished guest, esteemed colleague, or another inclusive phrase.
3. Remove a small barrierIn a recent Good Vibes in DEI newsletter, Bernadette Smith shared examples of organizations that made it easier for people to vote in the U.S. Lime offered free bike and scooter rides, Lyft provided discounted rides to polling places, and Maryland waived public transit fares on Election Day.
Stepping back from the election itself, Smith encouraged us to think about obstacles inherent in our workplaces:
“Ask your team what small barrier, like a commute or a meeting time, keeps someone from showing up fully. Then remove it.”
What might that look like? Moving a meeting so caregivers can attend. Making sure remote colleagues can participate equally. Rethinking an in-person requirement that isn’t essential.
What small barrier have you removed at work to help someone participate more fully? I’d love to hear your examples. Just reply to this email!
4. Recognize that two things can be trueA viral Instagram post by Antiracism Parenting points out that we can have Black friends, but still miss our own bias. That we can believe in fairness, but still protect unfair systems. That we can strive to be a good person, but still cause harm.
As the organization points out, good intentions don’t erase harmful impacts, and having friends or coworkers from underrepresented groups doesn’t mean you’re done learning. They encourage all of us to do the work:
- Listen without defending yourself.
- Correct and change your behavior.
- Speak up when you see it.
- Keep learning, even when it’s uncomfortable.
It’s a good reminder for us all.
5. Community spotlight: Correct yourself and move onSubscriber Brian Greller shared a lesson he learned early in his journey as an ally to transgender and non-binary friends.
He recalled misgendering a friend and apologizing profusely when corrected. But his apology inadvertently made the situation about him, and his friend understandably got upset.
Brian misgendered the same friend again later. This time, he responded differently:
“I had learned from my first big faux pas and made a quick apology, used the correct pronoun, and moved on.”
It was, he said, “a painful but good life lesson.” Now, when he hears someone misgender a friend or colleague, he gently reminds them of the correct pronoun.
Thank you 🙏
And if you’ve taken a step towards being a better ally, please reply to this email and tell me about it. Be sure to mention if I can quote you by name or credit you anonymously in an upcoming newsletter.
That’s all for this week. I’m glad you’re on this journey with me,
Karen Catlin (she/her), Author of the Better Allies® book series
100% written by me. I use AI for light editing and for researching a personal archive of my books and past newsletters.
Copyright © 2026 Karen Catlin. All rights reserved.
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♦♦Challenge Sexist Rhetoric, and Other Actions for Allies was originally published in Code Like A Girl on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.